Never Take Advice From a Troll
by Rylee Wyatt
Summary: Follow Emil through his freshman year at one of Europe's most prestigious magical universities, as he attempts to control his magic, control his social anxiety, and control his urge to throttle his brother's canoodle buddy...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is just something I was day dreaming about in my head today. I've been wanting to do a funnier fic for awhile now. For future reference, this is going to be a Harry-Potter inspired magical school situation, but it's going to be a university, and this world has many types of magical people, not just witches and wizards. See my notes at the end for the different types of magical people and characters I plan to have.**

 **Enjoy!**

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"Are you excited, Little Brother?"

Pointedly ignoring his older half-brother, Emil turned the spellbook over in his hand, wondering why something that looked older than their great-great-grandmother was so god forsakenly expensive. He just sighed, and put it on his small cart, already littered with a couple other textbooks that were required.

"Little Brother," Lukas almost singsonged, coming up uncomfortably close to his ear, causing Emil to turn around suddenly and nearly slapping him in the face, only to have Lukas quickly straighten up and only get slapped on the shoulder.

"What the fuck, Lukas?" Emil hissed, shoving his brother back. "Quit being such a creep." Lukas just gave him his signature cold smile, which Emil just rolled his eyes to and turned back to the shelf in front of him, picking up the list of textbooks and other supplies from his cart. Some were marked off that Lukas could provide copies of, but most were different books due to new professors or the difference in classes Emil would be taking his first year from Lukas.

Emil could sense his creepy-ass brother slowly making his way towards him. "I just want to spend quality time with you," He said airily, picking up Emil's most recent addition to the cart, and following it when Emil started wheeling it towards another section, the squeaky wheels bumping noisily on the uneven wood flooring. "In a week you'll be too busy with classes to hang out with your favorite brother."

Scowling at the back cover of another textbook, Emil had to bite back a retort that would remind his favorite brother that he never spent much time with him anyways, ever since him and that fucking annoying Danish weapon summoner started canoodling, not that Emil really complained.

Mathias Densen, with his huge hair and typically huge weapon summonings made him a strange but perfect opposites-attract partner for Lukas, who was a mythical creature summoner, their magical abilities both complementing and conflicting with each other, much like their normal relationship. Emil couldn't even begin to count how many times they went from nearly gouging each other's eyes out to making out, or vice versa. It was sickening.

Trying to bleach his mind's eye of the overzealous Dane, Emil tossed the last book into the basket and looked up at Lukas, who had his face buried in a book about fairies. Pushing his cart past his brother, Emil flicked the back of his hand, ducking out of the way when the hand came back at him half-heartedly.

"I remember when you were just a toddler," Lukas started in his trademark mocking but dry voice, following Emil to the register up front. "You were never so cruel, especially not to your Big Brother."

Getting in line behind an elderly couple who had plants growing out of their hats and jacket shoulders, Emil turned to his brother, eyebrow raised. "Yeah, because I didn't realize how insane you were then. Now I suffer frequently because of my awareness." The elderly couple was paying now, the lone cashier looking bored out of her mind, not seeming too entertained by the couple's lighthearted conversation.

Emil took a deep breath to sigh in boredom, but instead inhaled a ridiculous amount of dust from the old bookshop and failed to restrain a sneeze that nearly made him fall onto a tispy stack of magical architecture books on his right. He likely would have knocked into it if it wasn't for a translucent troll twice the size of Emil that had caught him just in time. Once he got his footing again, the creature faded away in a swoosh of light, Lukas grinning eerily.

"Dear Little Brother," He said in mock seriousness, laying a hand on Emil's shoulder and ignoring the fascinated stares of the elderly plant couple and the cashier. "We must really get those allergies checked." Emil just scowled and brushed his brother's hand away, face flushing from embarrassment.

"It's been many years since I've seen a mythical creature summoner," Cooed the elderly woman as her husband finished counting out the bills for their purchase. She fawned over Lukas for a bit longer until her eyes drifted to Emil. "Are you a creature summoner too? I heard it runs in families."

The blush that had faded slightly when the attention was on Lukas came back as the attention shifted to him. "N-no...I-"

He was interrupted by Lukas ruffling his hair, which Lukas knew he hated. "My dear little brother is an ice sorcerer. Matches his cold exterior." At that, Emil batted away the hand and hurriedly smoothed down his hair to its usual messiness.

The woman nodded, smiling at Emil who just fiddled with a book in his cart. He hated talking to people, whereas Lukas enjoyed subtly mocking and teasing with his dry humor and strange quirks.

Soon, she was coaxed away from the brothers by her husband, and they left the store. Lukas paid for Emil's textbooks and lead him back out to the shopping district, sorcerers and various other magical creatures walking (or floating in some cases) past them in the late-afternoon light. Emil had half of his textbooks, Lukas the other half.

"Where to next?" He asked wearily. It was only their first stop, and he was already exhausted. Being around his brother for extended periods of time was often too much for Emil.

Not saying anything, Lukas started down the street, easily avoiding other pedestrians, trusting Emil to keep up. By the time they stopped outside a cafe, it was fully dark, the covered magical torches along the building fronts and walls flickering to life. Emil tried to subtly catch his breath, following his brother inside.

It was crowded and exactly the type of place Emil didn't want to spend time in; loud music and laughing teenagers, adults, and elderly alike eating and making too much noise. Emil nearly ran into Lukas when he stopped in the middle of the main dining room, looking like he was searching for somebody. It better not be…

To Emil's utter horror, an obnoxious voice called out over the noise of the cafe, "Yo, Lukas!"

"Oh fuck no," Emil hissed under his breath, and caught his brother's arm as he started towards Mathias in a back corner of the cafe. "I'm, uh, not hungry." At Lukas's raised eyebrow, he straightened up and continued, "I'll just wait outside."

Lukas just kept giving him a disbelieving stare, then said, "They have breakfast all day."

To Emil's utmost disgust, his stomach rumbled involuntarily, and Lukas gave a triumphant grin, yanking him along towards one of the many banes of Emil's existence.

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 **A/N: Admittedly I haven't actually read or watched any canon Hetalia material in years, so I don't know how OOC Norway is, but I always imagine him as a passive-agressive, kinda creepy dude with a dry humor. Anyways, onto the different types of magic I plan to have in the story:**

 **Summoners - various types, most common are weapon summoners, animal summoners, and demon summoners. Mystic creature summoners are fairly rare and only a couple families seem to inherit the abilities.**

 **Sorcerers - mainly deal with basic element manipulation, like ice, water, lightning, air, earth, etc. Each sorcerer often has different ways of manipulating their element. In rare cases a sorcerer is born with the ability to manipulate magical energy, using it to enhance others' magic or heal...**

 **Wizards - wizards have fairly powerful magic that can only be tamed and used properly when expelled by wands or other magical tools and incantations.**

 **Witches - skills include potion making and the basic enchantment of objects (think basic curses and good luck charms).**

 **Enchanters - enchant and create magical objects and tools, like wands and spell books.**

 **Soothsayers - see the past, present, and/or future with varying levels of success and clarity.**

 **Charmers - varying types of mental manipulation, from seduction to total mind control.**

 **If any of you can think of any cool ones to add or something you'd like to see in the story let me know. Variety is always fun. Any guesses as to what future characters might be? I already have a few ideas!**

 **Thank you for reading, and please drop a review if you're feeling so inclined!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm back! Had a lot of fun with this chapter! Enjoy!**

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 _Oh my fucking ass I don't want to be here somebody_ please _save me from this torture…_

Emil had his fists clenched on the scratched wooden table, his ass on the edge of the bench so he wasn't pressed up against his brother, who was currently being _embraced_ by his disgusting Danish canoodler. If he didn't have to shove his way through a thousand people to get out of the cafe, he would already be long gone. Not to mention when he had scooted away from Lukas after they first sat down, the older man had crushed his foot under his, a threatening grin on his face, promising that if he left he would send _the canoodler_ after him, said man attempting to give Lukas a hug.

Now they were making out next to him, a shit load of people sounding like they were screaming in his ears around them, too close and seeming to be having too much fun for the _clearly terrible situation_ they were in. He groaned in frustration, feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable. Hoping the server would get to them soon, Emil buried his head in his arms on the tiny table, trying to block out as much noise as he could.

He was successful for a few minutes, calming down mostly, until somebody bumped the elbow he had hanging over the edge of the table. His head shot up, looking for the peace ruiner, but there were still so many people he couldn't tell who had done it. Cautiously glancing to his left, he saw the canoodle duo were done with their _greeting_ and Mathias was showing Lukas something on his phone, the latter seeming highly unimpressed but not doing anything to stop the other, the only indication he wasn't actually annoyed was a look of disguised fondness in his eyes. As usual.

The scene ironically calmed Emil down slightly. The look in Lukas' eyes was one Emil clearly remembered from his early childhood. Not having much in the way of caring parental figures, Lukas was often in charge of Emil, despite only a couple years' difference in ages. Emil constantly sought his attention and approval, chasing the rare fond look in the elder's eyes. Once his magic came, it came more often.

Of course, they both changed. Shit happened, good and bad. He settled his chin in the crook of his arms, still resting on the table, and let his eyes fall shut again-

Only be kicked in foot by a harried looking server. Emil glared at him, the man attempting to catch his breath, suddenly bumping against their table to let a customer behind him, jostling Emil. _Please save me from this fucking_ torture…

"Excuse me!" The man moved back, fully facing them, whipping out his notepad, blue eyes sparkling. "What can I-"

"Alfred!" Mathias said excitedly, Lukas rolling his eyes beside him. "Dude, I didn't know you could actually get a job!"

As if he hadn't actually seen who was at the table initially, Alfred's eyes widened at the Dane in front of him. "Mathias! I didn't know you were allowed in public spaces!" They fist bumped over the table. "It's been insane today! Arthur - he works here too, ya know! - almost quit!"

Mathias looked like he was going to continue the conversation, but Lukas covered his mouth and smiled (not so) sweetly at Alfred, the man shuddering slightly. "I'll have a large coffee and the smoked salmon sandwich, _extra_ mustard sauce." He continued "smiling" at Alfred, ignoring Mathias' struggles to evade his hand beside him, as the blond, bespeckled server quickly scribbled down the order.

"A-and for you?" He asked Mathias, trying to avoid the smaller man beside him.

Emil spaced off again as Mathias rambled on a long list of shit, asking questions about _everything_ because he was too much of an _idiot…_

Preoccupying himself with deepening a scratch on the table, Emil made pretty good progress before Alfred finally turned to him, looking even more exhausted than before. Out of the corner of his eyes, Emil saw Lukas was now pointedly ignoring Alfred and watching a video Mathias had shoved in his face. The _look_ was back.

Ignoring the tiny pang of nostalgia, he looked back at Alfred and quickly grumbled his order, a large coffee and a pastry he'd glanced in the case that reminded him of a _snúður_ , the only thing he remembered his mother making him before-

 _Shut the fuck up_ he hissed at his own brain. Whenever he was tired he started remembering things. And that was never good.

Trying to distract himself from the wash of _feelings_ he looked back at the canoodle couple. Mathias was laughing and, as usual, the man's overwhelming personality was one of the few things to crack the impenetrable Lukas' stony exterior. He was almost smiling now, no longer looking at the phone that was still in his face, but at the man next to him, who was now talking animatedly about the dog in the video.

Despite wincing every time Mathias' loud laughter or high-volumed voice rang out, being generally disgusted by their PDA, and how _fucking weird_ they both usually were, Emil had to grudgingly admit he appreciated the Dane for at least getting his brother to smile every once in awhile.

 _There I go, being a sap when I'm exhausted,_ he thought, stifling a yawn. Finally pulling out his phone, Emil messed around, only looking up when their drinks were nearly slammed down by a pissed off blond man with _huge ass_ eyebrows. He only stayed long enough to quip at Lukas, " _of course_ you would come on a day like this" and then hurried off, missing Lukas' eye roll.

Taking a few sips of the deliciously bitter coffee, Emil tried not to gag at the sight of Lukas tearing open _at least_ 10 sugar packets and dumping it in his coffee. Emil liked sweets too, but he took his brother's affinity for sugary coffee as a personal, deep offense. Unconsciously drawing his own coffee towards himself, as if to keep it away from the aforementioned offender, Emil took a few more drinks and reopened his phone, trying to staunch his boredom and block out the still deafening noise around them.

"So…" Mathias drawled out, facing Emil, who looked up, sensing the man was turning his unwanted attention on the younger. Lukas, now fully invested in the coffee, was ignoring the Dane, which caused the man's shift in attention. "Are you excited for school, Icey?"

Visibly cringing at the nickname, Emil turned back to his phone and grumbled "the fuck is there to be excited about?"

Not seeming fazed, the dumbass just grinned wider. "You get to learn more about your magic! Not that kid stuff back in upper secondary!" He made a few wild gestures, wisely avoiding the man beside him, waggling his fingers.

Admittedly Emil _was_ excited about getting to use his magic more. Before you came of age, you weren't allowed to use your magic except in the specialized classes at the magic upper secondary school he attended, and the lower secondary he'd attended before. They were only learning either how to control their magic or a few other low-risk areas of magic, like divination (which Emil couldn't do to save his fucking life). He still hadn't worked up the courage or really had a proper situation (besides being tempted to freeze the annoying Dane) to actually use his magic. And, though they couldn't really stop them, the teachers from his old school during graduation had encouraged them not to use their magic until they were safely at their chosen magic university.

Sighing, Emil drank more of his coffee. "I guess."

Still not deterred by Emil's lack of participation in the conversation, Mathias nodded. "I think you'll like it! Your first year might be boring, but it'll get better! Second years can enter the World Magic Tournament!"

Lukas quietly scoffed at that. "Like you did last year?" His tone was mischievous. "When you pulled out that _huge-_ "

"ANYWAYS!" Mathias said loudly, and Lukas just sipped his coffee, expression devious. "You'll do fine." They talked (or at least Mathias did) until their food finally showed up.

Significantly less people were in the cafe now, it being fully dark outside, the flickering light of the torches now visible inside. Lukas was making a comment on Mathias' sandwich, which seemed to be an impressive stack of pork, bacon, cheese, and a few other things Emil couldn't quite determine what they were.

Lukas grudgingly accepted a piece of the giant sandwich before delicately cutting and picking up a perfectly square section of his own, the smell of salmon drifting over to Emil. The pastry he'd picked out wasn't terrible, he had to admit, but it definitely didn't have anything on a proper _snúður._

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Mathias unfortunately stayed with them as they walked back through the shopping district, walking hand-in-hand with Lukas. He seemed to be tired after the meal, wonderfully not saying much, only commenting on the occasional window item that caught his attention. He had insisted on carrying all of Emil's bags, and had no trouble doing so in his free hand. Neither brother had protested.

Emil followed behind slowly, soaking up the crisp night air and the near quiet now that most people were gone for the day. The torches on the walls flickered mysteriously along the rough brick buildings and pathways. It looked, well, _magical._

Looking up, he saw they were approaching the archway that would take them out into the outside world. It lead out to a normal outdoor shopping mall, and he could see a higher volume of people and the bright lights through the archway's fuzzy filter. A few people were passing through casually. Emil didn't understand what magic was on the archway, but only magical people could pass through, and the magicless didn't notice.

When they got closer to the archway, Lukas glanced back at Emil, as if to make sure he was still there, and went through with the overgrown puppy he was holding hands with. They immediately blurred and stopped on the other side. Emil quickly went through, the shock of cold not bothering him.

Throwing his arm with the bags around Emil's shoulders, Mathias nearly dragged Emil along with him and Lukas. Between the man holding all those heavy bags in one hand and dragging a likely murderous looking younger man with him, while holding the hand of a blank-faced, mysterious man, the trio got a lot of strange looks as they headed to the parking lot. The magicless were always a lot more _aware_ of them than those with magic were. Not only were they simply a little different than the usual person, but the aura of those with strong magic could also be felt by the magicless, to a certain extent, making them receive even more attention than a regular weirdo would attract.

Even blending into a crowd, not drawing attention to himself, Emil _always_ felt eyes on him. It was annoying and made him extremely self conscious. It didn't help that his hair was almost an unusual silver and his eyes had a violet hue in most lights, which would catch people's attention normally even without his cold, magical aura.

It was a relief when they got back to Lukas' car, Emil immediately circling around and tugging on the handle so Lukas would get the hint and _unlock the car and stop making out with his fucking Danish canoodle buddy._

Instead he had to grit his teeth and wait, grouchily wishing he could teleport to anywhere but there.

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 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! I tried to bring a bit of world building into it. I'm really enjoying writing it! If you have anything you'd like to see happen during Icey's first year I would love to hear suggestions!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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